February 2012
8 posts
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“Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul. Lo-lee-ta: the tip...”
– Today I learnt about Vladimir Nabokov and what this actually is. I can’t believe I never knew the story behind Lolita before. My goodness.
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“Jess, in a completely non-bizarre, non-sexual way, me and KJ absolutely and...”
– Dr G.
This is my quote for V-Day 2012. In the weirdest way possible, I love their love because its all-accepting and unconditional. That’s what counts, right?
Happy V-Day! xoxo
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“Just as before, only by love and by charm could she keep him. And so, just as...”
– from Anna Karenina - Lev Tolstoy
Apparently there is a time in every girl’s life where she has to read this novel. I hate when people are right. I think I love this book.
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29 days.
I turn 23 in 29 days. Normally I look forward to my birthday; I know I’ve ranted about birthday week before and all that stuff. But since putting my birthday on hold last year, its kind of left its mark, and suddenly I face the prospect of a Monday birthday at work and maybe not anything else. That, and the fact that I got a pretty violent lecture from Geoffrey about how having birthday week...
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January 2012
12 posts
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“You’ve got a face like a cartoon character. You can see everything, in how...”
– Am I really this obvious? I don’t know if this is a good thing or not. I always said I was an open book.
X
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Happy New Year #3
“Just like a murderer jumps out of nowhere in an alley, love jumped out in front of us and struck us both at once…”
― Mikhail Bulgakov, The Master and Margarita.
The last two days were a big education. I had my first panel meeting on Friday - it was obviously supposed to be before christmas, and then suddenly it was then, and I spent so long preparing for it. Oh my goodness it was brain...
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private life, public face.
Some things I think about can only go here. Not twitter or facebook. Only here. Today, I hate hate HATE with an extreme passion a few things:
1) I hate people that are selfish. I really really despise them, hugely.
2) I hate the government for what they’re doing to science, and academia. People who work their asses off to get results, to get a name for themselves and their group, who do...
Is This It.
“It’s in their eyes, it’s unspoken; don’t even know they’re out to do you harm. Can’t even see the pulse beating in the axle of your arm…”
I’ve posted this song before but its been in my head today. I’ve had a weird day; just weird. It’s really a weird feeling, knowing what you’ve gotten yourself into and then not really...
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the devil wears bad jeans and hoodies and is...
I just came to a horrific amazing realisation whilst watching The Devil Wears Prada. I am Andie, and Steve is Miranda Priestley. I might not work at the chemistry equivalent of Vogue (or Runway, whatever - that would be MIT, or Harvard, or Scripps Institute, or even maybe Oxford) but its the same story - I came into this world not belonging or even thinking that it would matter but suddenly its my...
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A journey in food.
Because food is my boyfriend, its pretty much all I talk about, all I see and all I love. Yesterday I went to the food market at Marks and Spencer and spent 6 pounds on a box of freshly made on the spot Porcini Mushroom ravioli, and brought a jar of fresh made pesto for 4 pounds. I then cooked this, made a sauce of sorts with the pesto and a side salad, and devoured the whole lot. I probably eat...
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Re: Truffles
The truffles were chocolate and vanilla, centred with blossom honey and sprinkled with cinammon. When I tell you they were amazing, that word doesn’t even cut it. I have yet to work out how those flavours reflect me! Amazing christmas present :)
xoxo
Two Days In
In two days of 2012, learnt a few things, some within hours, some in a day.
1) someone declared their “interest”. that was the exact word used. “Come on jess. you can’t be this blind. You have to know I have an interest. But I love her, and that’s why I’m so confused. That’s my burden though, not yours.” oh dear.
2) After me complaining about...
December 2011
7 posts
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you the one.
Every christmas, I write this one card and vow to send it. Every christmas I forget. I feel like I’ve never gotten round to sending this card to show one iota of appreciation for what these people did for me and how they kept me in a corner of their hearts. I keep them in mine! I just never send this card.
So the holiday season has rolled around again, this time shorter for me than its ever...
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Brief Encounter
I’m watching this film on film4 right now. Its beautiful. Its absolutely completely beautiful. Like, 2 torn lovers, its horribly sad, I’m in tears.
You got off the tube at Holborn, and I am always always awkward at goodbye, and so after a weird little see you Monday, you got off the tube and stood outside the window. I was laughing and shoo-ing you away but you stood there whilst the...
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social-media-pressure
so I went and got twitter.
@jess_panch , apparently! Let’s see how this one works out
xoxo
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Monday
Right, so my laptop died, I had to take a kid to A&E, got a massive beatdown from the bosses, am cold, had a nightmare day and to top it all of, Mrs Panch has just killed me with her daily phonecall.
Today’s topic: “Are you that ugly you’re still single? Or is it because you’re just not very nice? Everyone has someone by now Jess, even you should.”
Its like,...
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sunday
So today, I woke up, did some work on radical reactions, went shopping and spent £120 in three hours, and then came home, did more chemistry, and wished I was both Kelly Rowland (dear god she is HOTTTTTT) and now Beyonce, dancing in my living room.
Today was a good Sunday. This weekend I got over my exhaustion, got a free bottle of wine and also something else free that came in a little black and...
November 2011
14 posts
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oh dear
In what may be the most bimbo thing to ever have happened to me in a long long time, I have lost my all time favourite lipstick and I don’t remember what shade it was to buy myself a new one.
The story of this lipstick is that I brought it for my mother and after her rejection of the whole Bobbi Brown palette and lip colour set thing I had wrapped and boxed for her, she gave it back to me....
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error.
I think my motto in life should be the same as the Bluth Family.
“I’ve made a huge mistake.”
I need to learn not to knock on doors. Ever. Any kind of door. Too many doors. They all need to close and not open ever.
I think I’m finished now.
On a side note I would like to thank Louise, Nik and Gabs for a wonderful evening, I love you guys so much its actually insane.
...
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I know an alien with brown eyes.
frankocean:
A red heart that skips beats. A grey mind that never slept and never fell for love..or simply won’t admit the slip. Scars cover it’s soft skin but don’t callous the flesh, that flesh that has touched but never held. That spirit of an immortal wouldn’t die.. even in the crash. That alien with brown eyes that never wept, made an alien of me.
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never been one for mainstream but something about...
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So I haven’t written in a while because...
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11/11/11 jinxed me.
Let’s address the million and one issues that I came across in one friday that have led me to believe that I’m just going to become a hermit.
1) I’ve got a chest infection. Bad. I can’t breathe at night, I can’t speak in the day, I’m coughing so hard my whole body hurts. With this in mind I missed ashley’s birthday drinks to come home and sleep (bearing...
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Countdown again.
I’m in a strange situation. Ive put myself in this situation, which is weird and horrible and makes me feel awful, but at the same time, I’m not doing anything to feel bad about. Nothing at all.
Its been a long time since I made a friend like this. We see each other every single day, all the time. We start our mornings with a hello and end our days with a goodbye at Bank station and...
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crazy love.
“I don’t know you as I should know, to be here talking love, love, hmm. This may not be what I need but, I think I’m way past reasoning…”
on rotation this week, next to Bax by Mosca. My love affair with Drake conveniently ended with the album leak today. Soz, you can’t ruin my fave Jamie XX song and get away with it. Yet, anyway.
xoxo
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Jessica
Is a muppet.
Don’t mug yourselves, kids.
I think I feel terrible/sorry for myself because I’m sicky sick sick.
In other news, related to the previous video I posted, the whole set is here.
xoxo
I am drunkydrunkdruuunkkkkkk and I love my phd posse. Haz plus geoff plus linda plus jess.
This was very difficult to type.
Xoxo
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WatchThis is big. Would have loved to have gone to this. Check out the other videos too!
Related to seeing this, and his own issues, just had a very long existential ‘Love London Hate London’ conversation with Geoff. Feeling stuck is hard but after next week I won’t be, which makes me happy. We plan to be un-stuck together; I mean, I haven’t even been to London Dungeons!
I...
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Difficult people.
I’m so sick of being nice. I really am. I hate it because, I don’t know how to be horrible and I try so fucking hard all the time to say the right thing, say the appropriate thing to people. I know a lot of the time I don’t think before I speak and so recently I’ve been trying to think. Its been a shitty start here in the damn lab and I’m trying so hard. A month and I...
October 2011
10 posts
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“(after about two minutes of silence at lunch)… you know one time, at...”
– cue all of us absolutely crying with laughter at the poor guy’s plight, himself included, and he has one of those little schoolboy giggles, so cute. Quote of my life from current comedian of my life, Harry Shirley. He was so shy at first, I love that he’s come out of the woodwork, I...
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Nuclear magnetic resonance.
To Person 1: Stop talking to me about your problems!!! Your issue is going one of two ways; one, you’re going to realise how madly head over heels crazy in love you are about her and just fucking propose and be done with it, or two, you’re going to switch off totally, dump her or do something stupid so she leaves you, and whatever it is you’ll then regret it forever and be one of...
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Nightmare day
To the man next to me on the tube: yes, you were snoring. Yes I did push you off my shoulder several times. Yes, we ARE at Hendon Central, and yes Chalk Farm has been and gone. Yes yes and yes, you definitely fell asleep, on my shoulder, and are irritating and annoying me massively. GET OFF THE TUBE.
In the last week I gave the wrong impression, got the wrong impression, got a place to live, had...
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Evening Standard.
“This is no time to settle for second best. Recent events have made you question certain alliances you’ve trusted and the foundation on which they’ve been built. While some merit such examination, others are merely in the midst of transition and will soon be better and stronger.”
I’m a scientist now. I shouldn’t even bother with this shit. Its funny how 24...
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Problem session
Isn’t it funny that the thing that you think will be the hardest suddenly becomes so easy when set upon you? You can spend weeks, months worrying about a pending item and when its time comes, its like you’ve not even worried and its done in a flash? I’m angry at myself.
My favourite thing in the world is that I don’t care any more. Its opened a lot of doors. I’m...
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Five minutes.
I don’t even get that anymore. I wonder if I’m realistically going to be able to keep this up. I bloody hope so.
Today, the doubts started creeping in, and I’m really scared; because I feel like I’m lacking, not up to scratch, not good enough. I got a wonderful text from Flo (distinction! woo!) telling me I was an inspiration, and it was so wonderful to read but really,...